My son is seven years old. In his school they have an optional “Eager Reader Program” which rewards children for reaching the different levels defined in the program. He was doing his reading on most days but there were days he would slack. Last week he was home for three days because he was sick. He looked at his Eager Reader sheet and said he wanted to reach the final level. I calculated how much he needed to read per day (55 mins ) to reach the level he intended. This felt very practical and he was all into it. Over the weekend he had a chess tournament on Sat and meeting a friend on Sunday. He did have enough time to read but it slipped his mind. He got back to reading on Monday but on Wednesday(the day before his submission ) he realized that he had a deficit of 335 mins to his target. He was hysterical and wanted to cut out music (his normal Wednesday activity) to achieve his goal. MY husband said he cannot ignore music to make his target and explained to him that he had to live with the consequence of not sticking to the original plan that he made. I explained to him that he can do his best for the day and that he can be proud of just that. He came downstairs to me and asked how much he had to read to achieve the level 6 (level 7 = final level). I explained to him that he would have to read 3 hrs and 15 mins to achieve it. A smile came on his face when he saw how feasible that target was. He did read for that much time before he headed for school on Thursday morning. He was happy and we were thrilled at his determination. He fell short a little but he understood that it was his own making. He seemed to get that when he sets goals he needs to follow through to accomplish them. My husband and I told him how proud we were of him for achieving what he set out to do. He did compromise a little but it was a huge positive step to get closer to where he wanted than just giving up. We tried to tell him that when he wants to achieve something and he sets his mind on it; he can do it; all he needs to do is work at it.

This experience taught me about how individual children are and how much we try to conform them to our own line of thinking. My husband and I kept feeling that reading for 3hrs plus in a single evening is pushing the limits of a seven year old but we resisted the urge to discourage him. Children are much more committed to goals they set for themselves than what someone else does for them. Parents must try to involve the children in setting goals for reading, writing, etc. Children like a sense of control and are ready to take on responsibility that comes with it. If children with the direction of parents and teachers set their own individual goals they will grow up to be adults with great self-esteem and drive.

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